[ Y O U T H R E L O A D E D ]

The best times in my life,

i spent with you guys.

the worst times in my life,

i held on to you guys.

God has blessed me

with this family.....

the question in my mind,

that pops up after the high

is "do i belong?"

the voice says "regular outsider!"

my heart cries "no!"

and yet i see

possibility.

- -

i do not know when it started. all i know is everytime i have a good time with you guys,

i end up going home thinking..is this real?

am i one of them? really and truly?

or am i kidding myself.

there was a time where i truly believed i really belonged.

..wasn't there?

i know i have changed.

the ivan i used to be would never reach out for help.

belonging or not, i love you guys.

leaving you guys when the time comes..

will be the hardest thing ever.

saturday nights when i see you guys,

the rest of my week dissapears.

and yet there's always a loneliness.

why am i even typing this.

should i even post it up?

am i being selfish?

sigh.

GC youth is the best youth ever.

whether i am one or not.

='D

sigh.